"GRACE

She takes the blame
She covers the shame
Removes the stain
It could be her name

What once was hurt
What once was friction
What left a mark
No longer stings
Because grace makes beauty
Out of ugly things"

I've experienced grace in multitude this past week. The power it holds when somebody has it, when somebody is it. I've never understood it fully, but i like how Bono explains it (above). Im so thankful i live my life in an environment familiar with what Grace is. And i hope that i can attain it as strongly as the people i admire have. 

"Grace

It's a name for a girl

It's also a thought that changed the world

And when she walks on the street

You can hear the strings

Grace finds goodness in everything"

Quickly...

1) Bulgaria was amazing, i'll do a blog on it in the coming days.

2) Happy Easter - Jesus' sacrifice, has never meant more to me.

3) Suzie Got into Westminster to do Fashion - So Proud.

4) Moved into Grace's bedroom, and in the process of doing it up, so far i've done one wall...

Laters all x x x

Twelfth of April 2011...

Extracts from my 2010 

B u l g a r i a .

Journal.

Day 1: "from the outside our first hotel looks nothing much, 2 star, basic. with our swipe key in hand, we open

the door to a flat screen tv and retracting beds"

Day 2:"We travelled past all the falling down, crumbly character filled buildings... we met the church they were so

welcoming... we went for a walk down by the river, which

separates Bulgaria and Romania."

Day 3: "I prayed for a girl called Rosa, which really gave me 

alot of confidence, and i really like her."

"I heard this hellish scream/cry and saw our group hurrying out of the shop... in hindsight it was a good thing we were there as it meant Ann got to pray for the lady."

Day 5: "I had the most amazing day - we went to the gypsy village! I played with Danka, Alexandra and lilly they were all

sisters" "there was around 6 older guys who started

mocking the dancing, so for a joke i started mocking them, and then they came over and danced with us!"

" We just sung, and they loved it - we made crowns for them and placed them on there heads."

Day 6: "We gave out presents to the church... then played football all afternoon. Boys Vs Girls was the best!"

Day 7: "When we got to the orphanage a tv crew was there, we got on Bulgarian News! The kids listened to the concert. I had this little boy sitting on my lap, he was lovely, and when i pulled faces he pulled them back!"

Day 9: "Home time! not one part of me wants to go home."

Off tomorrow to Bulgaria again with church, can't wait!

 "Vision over Visibility."

When i was in Africa, i fell in love with this song, all that it stands for, the beauty of the lyrics, the cries and the whispers.

Listen to it in two ways:-

1) With your eyes closed

+

2) Watching the video - You might hate it, but a few individual moments stand out to me..

1.23 - The Roar. ('tiiiiieeeeee myself with wire')

2.57 to 3.25 - The Begging Bowl. I love watching the actions musicians make with there hands, how they reflect what there singing, how there is intention behind each fluid movement. Also love the lyrics hear. 

4.16 - When the audience raise there hands in the surrender position. Ironic, powerful, truthful. 

4.40 - Guitar solo. Says as much as the words, a longing call.

6.14 - 'The Rap', love it, but don't know what to say.

Actually impressed, if you listened/watched. 

Age Unknown.

This week, i keep coming back to that picture. I've spent an unhealthy amount of time staring at it, trying to work out what id be thinking/feeling at that moment. I can't remember that day, but i remember what i was like as a little girl, lost in my imagination, wildly free, and abundantly loved. The photo was taken in our London flat, we had these amazing wooden french doors which i love, leading out into the garden. 

Im so fortunate to be in the place i am, but i can't help but want to be little Josie for a week. I'm thinking, that people wouldn't dream of saying or doing stuff to that little girl, but its ok to do it to the 19year old version. 

The most incredible thing is that, that girl is me, i keep wanting to write that she dosen't exist anymore, but she does, she just has brown hair. Whilst i was in Sri Lanka, i met a lady who last saw me when i was that age, and the first thing she said was..

"Your exactly the same, you just have brown hair"

I am exactly the same. 

I agree.

Llanelli Beach, one sunny Wednesday.

My dress follows my feet as i walk,

ageless, is the image i see.

Can't tell where in life i'd be,

but as you see me now,

clothed in a wedding gown.

I'm 100 percent 

that girl you placed in me.

Every now and then, i like to rummage through my clothes, 

i've got a selection of stuff which

i really love and every item holds memories -

i usually remember events by what outfit i was wearing that

day. 

I treasure my dresses, and being able to travel, i want

to build up a collection from around

the world.. a bit like collecting stamps, i guess. 

(Dress from Brighton, Zara, Barcelona, Sri Lanka, Made by me, Kezi, Zara, TK Max, TK Max, Topshop, Africa, Traffic People)

Borrow stuff if you want, clothes are to be worn. 

This is the dress i brought in Sri Lanka, its a traditional Muslim outfit, and i got 10% off cause i brought it the weekend of Hajj! The beading on it is amazing, and the colours are so beautiful, it cost around £15 for it all.

I got this in London, from a label called Traffic People, It was my prom dress, and i've only worn it out twice, but it makes you feel beautiful when you put it on. Topshop also stock the label, and it comes in all different colours. I've decided my bridesmaids  will be wearing it (when the day comes for me to choose.)

Today was also my little brothers birthday..I arranged the cakes!

I went to the beach yesterday morning, to play with my new camera, and discovered the record button. So you lucky people get to see the outcome of my productive morning. I spent alot of time thinking about Africa, so these are some of my thoughts, in a very rough video!...

Words..

You told me to pray that you'll make me fit for what you've called me to be,

You told me to pray that you'll fill my good ideas

and acts of faith with your own energy,

so that it all amounts to something.

You lead us back in time to where the sun still burns the ground orange.

To where people live within mud walls,

and walk miles for water.

You said tell them that you are there shepherd, and that they'll never need for anything else.

So we danced in the dark amongst the mosquitos, 

under the African stars,

we dressed like them, we tried to speak like them,

but we didn't look like them, 

that didn't matter. You made us different..

There was still love, there was still friendship.

We still peed down a hole, and we didn't complain..

Most of the time.