I fell asleep and woke up in Narnia.

In the mist of my final hours in Sri Lanka, i thought id conclude my trip.

(Blogging being the perfect distraction from the duty free shopping, at the airport)

Firstly, i want to sum up my last few days, which have been nothing less than a christmas spectacular. Infact, so much so that i got taken on a round trip of all the 5* hotels in Colombo (in which there are a staggering amount) purely in order to rate there christmas decorations. The four of us, me, em, Charl and Furrukh (a man you may know from a tv shows such as 'Under Offer') jumped in the car, and drove to each hotel, gave the car keys to the doorman, walked into the foyer, spent a few minuets speculating, then simply left and went onto the next. We each had very different criteria however, Charl was going for the most effort - and by effort she meant tack, and Furrukh (a man who effortlessly scores thousands of goals, for the international team 'Colombo Lions') opted for the brightest and redest! I however, valued the Gaul Face hotels Real christmas tree, in contrast to there more modern 'bear bottle' tree situated in the bar area.

Above, is a picture taken in front of The Hiltons, tree of teddy bears. Photo taken by Furrukh (A man who has such a loving, servant heart, he sacrificed his good looks improving the photo, by offering to take it.)

Also got my hair cut, in a salon so posh, a man started massaging my head, after washing my hair. Quite an awkward situation, when your not expecting it. I composed myself well, throughout the whole process. And they did bring me tea in a christmas mug, which was very thoughtful.

I spent my last night on the 27th floor of the swiftest swishest swooshest apartment i have ever seen! God is so damn good, eating the last lot of egg hoppers i'll be having in a while, we sat on the balcony looking over Colombo and the Indian ocean, whilst behind the 'twin towers', fireworks were going off. Insane!

Better be off to gate 7, fairwell Sri Lanka, you beautiful piece of earth. x x x

Under the shadow of your wings.

I'm reading Shane Claiborne's book 'The Irresistible Revolution', and its really making some sense - especially when he talks about his future plans. He stresses that people always want to define you by what you do, and he would always start by saying

"Im not too concerned with what i am going to do. I am more interested in who i am becoming. i want to be a lover of God and people"

He goes on to say that what we do is not nearly as important as who we are.

Being hear, i feel like my characters being shaped, i feel like the person i was, when i was 16, but with more strength and wisdom. I met two Cornish girls the other day in a restaurant, i went and sat with them, and we got chatting. And the concept of me being hear, and living with a family i didn't know, came as a surprise to them, they saw it as 'different', where as i see it as a necessity, to some degree i felt forced to come hear, not by anyone other than God. And i figured yesterday (whilst laying by a 5* Hotel's pool, over looking the Indian Ocean) that God must be a good God, and love me infinitely in order to force me to come to this Paradise. Don't get me wrong there have been challenges, but there not challenges in his eyes.

Still here in Sri Lanka.

I wish i had the lead for my camera,

then you could look instead of read.

I am oh so grateful that i am hear instead of at home, seeing as the most important news arising atm in Swansea, is that our flat roof is in need of repairing. I am receiving frequent updates about this matter from my mother, and i wasn't all that interested when i was at home, and my tone is still yet to change. Maybe when i'm 42, i will start to care a little more about leaks. I think, if it was me, i'd fix it the Sri Lankan way and take the roof off all together and make it into an indoor garden.

(this is where if i had my camera, you could see a picture of Charl&Furrukhs, indoor garden)

I went bird watching at dawn yesterday, and although my camera's zoom, is pathetic i have a few good mental images of green birds and yellow birds and a painted stalk. Unfortunately, i can't share them with you as there in my head, but you could always try and imagine what a green bird would look like. It was actually amazing, they were flocking overhead, and i really enjoyed.

I also spent some time with 3 lovely girls and made cookies, which is the highlight of my week, not because of the cookies - because they got a bit burnt, but because the girls were just wicked, and we spent ages singing Taylor Swift songs(and her music is a bit of my guilty pleasure.) Also, it felt like a new season for these girls, like God was just breaking through any barriers, and forming a rainbow of promise over the girls home. It was really cool.

I am also reading, jackie pullingers book chasing the dragon, which if you want to ever know what a living God is about, it's a great book to read.

This might be my last blog for a while, but i've been hear 11 days now, and feel alot more settled, and open to whatever is going to happen in the rest of my time hear.

x x x

I'M IN SRI LANKA BTW.

My nails are growing at a supernatural speed...

I've been here a week now (Sri Lanka, and i have realized how important your senses are and how much more you rely and become accustomed to how your body is adapting. Like, when i first arrived i found i was breathing deeper, and thats because the humidity is so much higher here than back home.

Slowly, i am getting used to the culture hear, other than pizza hut last night, i've been having alot of spice, to the point where my lips have felt on fire and swollen. I also had fish without bread crumbs on for the first time in like my whole life, and it tasted good, just like chicken.

I have travelled a bit, between Colombo and Kandy which is around a 2 - 3 hour drive, i will be based in Kandy once i get settled, i spent a couple of nights there last week, and felt it would be better to come back to Colombo, just until i have a bit more energy. Coming back to Colombo last week was such a brilliant decision, purely

because it gave me the chance to pray with three ladies, claire, charl and jenny, whom two of them knew me when i was around 5, and haven't seen me since! But God is so exciting, like - at this point i am so excited about what he is going to do through us, and in Sri Lanka. I'm not one to preach about him, but you need to understand what an exciting time this is, and its open for everyone to experience.

Other than praying, i've met the kids, i went to there birthday party and it was such a special day, for a whole heap of reasons, i also went to a school production of the piped piper last last, and met a few girls around my age, who are staying in a girls home, and hopefully on monday i can go and hang out with them, and play a bit of guitar and cook. Which i'm really looking forward too. Tomorrow, im going bird watching! .. at 5.30am!! Crazy.

In around 3 hours, I'll start my journey..

But for now, i've been told to tidy my room, and put all the rubbish from my over flowing bin, into a bin bag. Kind of an excitement killer.

I was looking in the mirror and i realized that my accessories have come from some of the people i love...

My Bracelets are from (left - right) rosie, woz, aunty jenny & co. My necklace is from Rosie, my scarf is form suzy and my earrings are from chloe.

I am going to keep my blog up to date whilst im away, and will try my best to take photos.

love jos x x x

Im a day and a half away.......

'For i am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for you sails.'

I am going away, and have been reminded of what amazing friends and family i have, they have loved me when they had no reason to, and have seen me with eyes that see my deepest intentions. I want to make them proud, and be everything that they believe i am. I am so ready for this..

With a bounce and a creased nose,

she silently laughs.

Im going to Sri Lanka for 3 Months, in 2 weeks TODAY, and many prospects about this trip excite me. *enter list*

- Independence

- The opportunities i will have to meet people, work with people, enter there lives

- The prospect of seeing an Elephant

- The unknown

- The fact that Sri Lanka is beautiful

- Growing in my relationship with God

- Tasting the Sri Lankan Brew (and by brew i mean TEA)

- Getting to know the culture

- Swimming in the Indian Ocean (*cough* 27 degrees *cough*)

- Adventure

And so so much more, which will be revealed hear over the next 3 months.

A Tendency to be Indecisive.

Ahh, i love how i end up being involved in amazing things, August is turning out to be the month of the millennium. If you want to know a funny story, that of the millennium is a good'un. There was us the four Mackenzies, mum dad rory and me, back in our native of scotland. If we had happened to celebrate the year 2000 in say Edinburgh or Glasgow would of been rather swish, but no we ended up on the Isle of Mull, which is so non existent its not even visible on a globe. Yes, so the locals put on a fire works display, with a fire work being set off around every 5 minuets. I fell asleep before 12.

Anyway..

Yeah, i helped at this even called re:Act, the purpose was to teach dance, i feel slightly bad because i feel i got so much more out of it than i put in, and they paid for me to go. But i was an amazing few days, with an inspiring bunch of people.

Yesterday..

Was Aunty J's 40th BBQ, a family & friends event, which involved me answering the question "so what are you up to with your life now", what i really wanted to say was "I am currently at Liberty"

and smile and look perfectly content, but instead i gave every relative a different answer, and try my utter best to convince them i have a plan! which i do not, which is rather freeing, and i like it.

This week..

I am off to soul survivor, for 16 odd days, its going to be fantastic.

x x x

Today...

I spent a load of time applying for jobs, jobs in London. I just wonder how many replies i'll receive out of the,

2 Gap Application ( in all fairness im probs not qualified to be a visual associate,but i don't see why i can't sell baby clothes.)

3 Paperchase Applications

3 Lush Applications

1 white stuff Application

So yes, i am going to keep a Blog tally chart of any interviews/reply i receive.

London will only work if i have a job. End of.

I have also realized that this is the first time i have mentioned the

'Josie moves to London' possibility. But thats all it is at the moment a 'possibility'/ 'run away'/ 'adventure'/'cleansing'/

I also, prayed epically that i pass my driving test tomorrow at 8.45am, i managed to get a late booking/cancelation, which i totally a God thing, otherwise id be doing it on the 10th September, when i may possibly be in London. So i need to Pass - NEED TO!

I also walked the dog to the view point, i'm quite protective over the view point, i don't like other people being there, and ever since they built a proper path more people are enjoying the view. But its mine and it holds memories, i love it there.

Thats all x

My lovely mother, brought me a present today..

"Not Another TEEN KNITTING BOOK"

Basically a cheery lady (pictured above - i assume) named Vickie Howell has written the ultimate 'teen' guide to knitting.

This is what the blurb says..

"whether you're a rocker, jock, homecoming queen, or nerd, Vickie Howell knows how to rock your world"

If i was fortunate to pass my driving test, and own my first car, i could jazz it up with a knitted steering wheel cover. This is what Vicky says

"As with a first love, we all have a special relationship with our first car. How do you express this special connection? ..by cozying up whenever possible!"

I wonder what knitted garment best describes me...

This jacket is one of the better pieces, however i would never class myself as a jock, i think my flexibility and flirting would need some work.

Sweater vests are good, but i lack the intelligence and patience required by a nerd.

Thats pure brilliance, that lovely vicky believes a multi coloured hat describes a drama student..

At the back of the book, it gives details of each person who has conveyed a different 'teen', and the goth picture was ironically modeled by a lady named "Raven Knitshade", now i wasn't too sure whether to take this seriously, but my concerns were clarified when the skater.. Steven "slip stitch" Cunningham had reportedly won the Nobel Piece Prize for Best Knitted Project! Now i said i wasn't intelligent enough to be a nerd, but my logic tells me, there trying to be funny!

Anyway, i have concluded that although i have no idea why there called 'Granolas' - because as far as i'm aware thats a type of healthy snack. I like the fact that she has knitted a scarf, the only realistic knitted item in the whole book.

So cheers Vicky, for writing a truly ridiculous book, it was worth every penny of the reduced price £1.99.

x x x

As much as i have always hated the 'poncho', my feelings for the garment have changed on discovery of this masterpiece..

Find it with a hefty price tag at www.freepeople.com .

'Your very beautiful Barcelona'

"Your very beautiful Barcelona, your new york but with pretty balcony's complete with terra-cotta pots. In fact your nothing like new york, thats a poor comparison, your no concrete jungle, every building is finished differently. Completely unique."

Gaudi is king over the city, i like him very much, he has patience to a degree which i will never have, enough patience that even after his death his church is still unfinished. His park is every bit a maze, he created it to be lived in not just to be looked at. Completely dedicated to his art an intelligent obsession.

On a visit to an art gallery, i thought to myself that id much rather speak to the artists that look at there work. I also concluded that people make art so that there is something to remember them by when they die. This of course is not true, but is a fact. Looking at a frame containing simply 4 pieces of wood standing upright, i remembered what Andy Warhol said "Art is what you can get away with", and in this case that is very true.

Where as my grandparents would much rather roam around in the mountains of Switzerland, i feel at home in the city, i like falling asleep listening to next doors conversations, and smelling the stench of grease rising from the cafe. Its comforting.

I will learn Spanish, then i will return to Barcelona possibly for an increased length of time, and i will simply wonder in the heat and walk on the pretty tilled streets.

Irene asked me to make her a red dress, and so i have attempted it..

However, i have developed a rather strong love for it, the skirt is made out of a sari my dad brought from India, when i was about 6 or 7. I thought the sari was amazing, and i still do. x

With all this free time i've got, not being in college etc etc. I decided to make some clothes, and then make a video to advertise the clothes. There not the most amazing designs or whatever, but they are what they are, if you fancy prancing round in one of them, then your welcome too. Just drop me a message.

Love x

'FOOTBALL'i just needed to do that, so when i look back, i know that this is the day after England got knocked out of the world cup, by those Germans. I read something on facebook, and it was like 'we managed to win a war, but loose a game of football', made me chuckle!

I've just spent the past hour laughing at youtube videos, there is some hilarious people in this world! Like this guy who was reading Twilight, and he like pointed out everything which was wrong with it, and now i don't love it so much.

And this girl who asked the question 'Are you anyones favorite person?', and she didn't think she was anyones - which wasn't funny at all infact it was rather sad.

I was watching Big Brother's Little Brother, and there was this 'Ora' lady on it, who measured peoples energy, and then like coloured in a picture of a brain, to show there personality. Which personally i think is beyond ridiculous, but she's obviously making alot of money out of her crayon coloured pictures which is lovely! Good for you dear.

Im off to Barcelona in a week, what i like about new places is that it gives you something new to look at. I am also excited to sus out inner city Spanish fashion.

And i do have a favorite person - and its a complete secret!

Across the hall, im shrinking, beyond site and open minds

unearthly creatures listen to me

i've seen you with my own eyes,

upturned stereos

from when you said i have no taste.

Peacock

Pigeon

Duck or

Swan

A bird which doesn't fly

Id cut open your insides

if it meant there were no lies.

Quickly what's on my mind.

1) Romeo & Juliet.

i wonder if they would regret ever falling in love in the first place, if they knew it would end in death? I don't think they would of given it a seconds thought.

2) Words.

Just because Shakespeare was an impressive writer,and had an imagination, which echoed reality, does that mean he was a good socializer?

3) Relationships.

Its a grid of complex lines, in which everyone wants to know where there stand.

4) Bedroom.

I need to clean it.

5) August.

Will be a month of discovery and excitement. And i am very excited about it.

I am struggling with being a nice person today. Actually i've struggled with it for the past few weeks, i don't like to admit im stressed, but i think i just might be.

I've always liked exams, but not this year, i have Drama tomorrow, and have decided that it makes it more exciting if you have to blag it slightly, under pressure with a time limit. So i am looking forward to my challenge. Let me just revise Stanislavki and im ready to go.

I had a hair cut this morning, its not quite what i expected, but im now over the initial shock and am focusing on the good points

1) i have no split ends

2) i am back to my natural colour.

They're all the good points i can scrape together at the moment. I discovered that i became very attached to my hair, it was a bit of a security blanket, if my hair looked good then i didn't need to worry about my face. Now, i guess, i'll just have to worry more about my face.

Hair grows.

Ok Stanislavki, lets get back to 'the magic If'

x x x

I wanted to talk today about why i believe in God, its something that i've mentioned, but have never explained - And i see it as my most interesting quality, so hear goes...

(this is really difficult btw)

Christianity is about relationships, its not about conforming to rules or regulations, in fact the people who i look up to, are the ones who have broken the rules, who listen and have a solid relationship with Jesus.

When i was in year 9 & 10, i had warts all over my hands, and more than anything it really ruined my confidence and i hated God, i didn't understand why if he was good he would let his happen. It came to the end of year 10, and i was so fed up, i agreed to go to this christian festival called soul survivor http://www.soulsurvivor.com/uk/index.html and on the last night in the main meeting they said if you need prayer for illness stand up, it literally took everything i had, to over come my embarrassment and ask for healing. By standing up that day, i was trusting God that he would heal me. And he did, and i knew he did from the moment i stood up, the following weeks i saw my hands heal and return to normal, for the first time in like over 2 years.

Make of that what you will. What i want to say is that, Christianity is a personal thing, to have somebody who loves you and knows you completely is scary but amazing. Its a difficult challenge, it involves doing things you don't want to do, facing fears and taking risks, but its about trust in God.

Christians arn't a separate race, you probs didn't realize i was a christian when you first met me, and i like it that way.

My church is amazing, i love it http://www.antiochchurch.co.uk/ Sunday is the highlight of my week, i get tea, friends, music, jesus in one morning. Super!

anyway, hope that was a little insight, ask me questions if you wish, im not gunna pretend to know all the awnsers, but i'll do my best.

Love

x

1.The days are long and there dragging, i hate routine and im completely trapped in one, its been 2 days - 5hours of revision and 10 cups of tea, and i want out.

2."somebody come save me.

because

when i pause for a moment, i can see how you could ruin me"

June 2nd. Just 15 days. Just 15 days to solve problem one.

problem two is going to take years.

sigh.

Imagination

I wonder why we have it. I get taken so often from what i should be concentrating on, into something so visually stimulating, i sit there without blinking for minuets.

I find people interesting, and i like being in the company of people, thats how we were made - but sometimes i would rather sit with my self and my imagination, i need my space. This can be dangerous, it's a scary thought that maybe one day, i will enjoy being in my head more than with my friends.

Imagination, is developed from what we know. In my head the scenery is an image of my favorite earthly places, and the people have character trades which i value in my friends. The new stuff, which we haven't experienced, thats the stuff which God plants in us.

Imagination is a gift, i have heard so many people talk about "living in your head" and how this means your not making the most of your life. But Imagination and Reality, are very close worlds, and used correctly ..i don't know what would happen if they were used correctly, i don't even know if there is a way to use your head in the right way, or train your mind to only think certain things.

All i know is that i think sometimes people get scared of spending time with themselves, because they don't want to get to know themselves. It's idea of facing the problems with your character or issues with people around you which scare the hell out of you. And are just easier not to face.

After completion of my 1hr45min mock exam, i am worried my perfectly able right hand is just going to stop working right in the middle of the real exam. This is where i wish i could write with both hands, that way i could swap over half way through.

The Temper Trap.

We turned up to a gig, and left experiencing worship which was unearthly and cosmic. This is when life is at its best, when it chucks surprises right in your face, and doesn't let you absorb them.

The great hall in Cardiff Students Union holds 3000, the gig was sold out, and all 6000 eyes were crazed for this hypnotic man, moving dancing praising across the stage. I think it must of been 20mins in when Dougie (the lead guy - who btw once studied fashion and marketing) first opened his eyes.

Musically it was perfection, i wanted to vertically lie on the floor and absorb fully all that was being played. And what was being played was a cry, a calling for something more, it was pure worship done in a public place through mainstream music. Something which ive never experienced, but want to spend my life promoting and pursuing.

The last song, and dougie who had spent the time unaware that anyone was watching him, launched himself into the audience, he moved himself down to where me and warren were standing, and warren just prayed for him, and when it looked like doug was gunna leave, he stayed for a while longer.

Sweaty, hot and speechless we left, and decided we had to atleast try and meet the band and encourage them. So we waited, after a while i spotted a guy walk past me, it took me a few seconds to trigger, but it was the bassist. I couldn't leave him go, so just as he was about to shut the tour bus door, i go ..

"Excuse me.. Are you a christian?"

Confused and most probs scared, he re asked what i said, and he replied yes i am. This launched into a conversation between the three of us, and basically he said "I feel God's anointed our gigs" and "pray for Dougie, he needs it."

Amazing. Truly and unbelievable night. x

I am so Bored now im back from Bulgaria.

Bulgaria was amazing, me attempting to write about it won't do it any justice, so just imagine me sitting in front of you panting for air from crying so much, or leaping around with a big smile, and then translate that into words and you might just about get what it meant to me.

I feel useless now i'm back home, in some ways i feel like i've sunk back into my normal habits to quickly, and the amount of work and revision i need to do is just daunting.

Sitting on the floor of what was a spotless bedroom when i arrived home on wednesday, is now filled with clothes on the floor. Ah i hate being home.

This is what Bulgaria was to me..

Jesus

New Friends & Relationships

Music

Dance

Prayer

Discovery

Love

Joy

Happiness

Tears

Laughter X1000000000000

Football

Travelling

Walking

Playing

Journal

Moving Beds

Balconies

Sun

Lightning

Hedgehogs

The Biggest Daisy's Ive ever seen

The most Beautiful Trees ever

Cheese & meat for Breakfast

Peeing in a hole in the ground

Photos

Laughter Again

Angels

Healing

Crows

A Scream

Mentors

Denka

Bulgarian Church

Youth Club

Life

NEW LIFE!

Long, heavy waves, soft waves, tumbling down past the chest and resting on pale skin, creating protection and a distraction. Deeply set and intense, coated in blackness but bright underneath - casting shadows. Just there, prominent an obstacle, from the side awkward from the front pleasant in comparison. asleep but open, pink and yet again pale.

unsymmetrical

unsymmetrical

Arctic Fox

in

A Frosted Wasteland

Can survive in temperatures as low as -58

has a beautiful white coat, used for warmth and camouflage

and holds the position as the polar bears right hand man.

after being introduced to the 'polar/snow fox' by my trusty 5year old friend, it has toped the ranks, as my favorite ever animal.

I live in the most beautiful place in the world. And thats just a picture of Swansea Bay! Only in the last few years, do i feel like i can call this place home, but just in time for me to leave, ive fallen in love with it.

“Here the constants of beauty, ease, proportion, vitality, technical mastery, of the communication of ecstasy to the beholder, are within one’s body-soul. And the greatest constant of all is that we experience a rhythmic beauty, the activity of God Himself.”

-Ted Shawn

I just got a pen mark on my new perfectly pink bible, it rests right above the 'E' on 'HolyBible', so now every time i see it, i get an erge to emphasize the 'e' and say it in a french accent.

Last week, i had this spot on my cheek it was just above my lip, and looked like a beauty spot, it reminded me of keira knightly, 1920's,WW2, it made me feel classic. And i miss it now its gone.

I have this pair of yellow converse, and the dirtier more worn they get, the scruffier they look, and the more i grow to love them.

The point im trying to make is that perfection comes in a billion different shapes. I have an ability to love imperfection, i believe its down to not having the patience to make something physically perfect. Every dress/top/leotard i have ever made, has had raw edges ... literally!

I have spent this week,repeating myself over and over again, preparing for my drama exam, which was today, tomorrow and monday. The reason we spent so much time repeating ourselves was to make our piece as perfect as possible, to remember our lines and interpret the character in the most accurate way. We did it infront of the examiner, and it went ok, but i could point out loads of things i had done better in rehearsal...

I have made the conscience decision to live my life, not striving for perfection but to achieve the best i can, and the best i can is a shape of perfection.