Amelie, Chapitre dix-sept

'My body is a cage'

Some people are naturally capable at many things, take my brother for instance-

He "Coasts" through school, and still manages to achieve oxbridge standard grades

He has hair, which stays in the same precise place throughout the day

He has the ability to frequently eat, 12 chicken nuggets, chips and a milkshake, and not put weight on and still stay in peak physical condition.

And retain a reputation which has triggered many people to go "oh your Rory Mackenzies sister, i never would of guessed that"

..And he has the perfect Nose, whilst i am stuck with a close replica of my mothers.

I have spent much of my life dwelling on my brothers life, and trying to find things in which i am better.

One thing, is that i am a year and a half older meaning, i turn 17 before him, meaning i can drive before him. However, that dream is slowly slipping away- i am not a natural driver, and that was proven today, during my MOCK test;

..I failed within the first five minuets, by hitting the curb 3 times whilst trying to do a parallel park. However the silver lining was that my teacher was very impressed that i didn't get too "Flustered" and kept my cool throughout the next 40 minuets.

I am currently babysitting, have learnt all about 'BEN 10' and the Humungasore, and got told of for pronouncing it wrong (HU-MUNG-A-SORE, not HUMUNG-A-SORE.) Now, watching the lovely PHIL on Relocation Relocation In Australia .. Slightly disappointed, i prefer it when they stay this side of the Atlantic.

Oh and Bulgaria Concert was amazing, highlights ABBA melody & Tim & Ann, and the chocolate brownie. Very excited for Bulgaria:)

LOVE X

This morning at roughly Eleven AM, the Mackenzie Household witnessed, what can only be described as a dog on dog cat fight ..which ended in severer injury, and a very upset two year old, who has lost, quote "Best toy".

Woof:(,damage was mainly to the nose area. sad times.

LOVE X

A revelation just came to me whilst i was writing a facebook message, explaining my latest dream. I have been called many names in my life, most of them because people have trouble understanding my voice/croak/accent - i've always wondered whether my voice was Gods gift, or the devil screwing with my throat. Yeah, I've been called 'JUCIY' alot, Once, at school a teacher went through the whole, LUCY? JUCIY? STACY? ..JOSIE, its always puzzled me.

Josie is an abbreviation of Josephine,and i think that Josephine is the female version of Joseph ..I've also been called Joseph before,my bestfriend at the time, brother thought that he was funny, he was not.

Yeah, so i think my dreams come true, just like Joseph and his technicolored dream coat. Actually this morning, before i had this revelation, my mum popped up with the very random comment (today she has also revealed that she thinks im going to live in france, and that i wear my heart on my sleeve, i don't take everything she says literally!)that she remembered, when i was in year 9 or 10, i had a dream that i was going to go to a new town and make lots of new friends, which in the past year i have done.

This is either exciting, or scary, i have had some weird dreams in the past about tsunamis freezing over my family standing in a lighthouse, i'll always remember that one, my mums been on a mission to work out the 'symbolism' in it for years. Maybe it will just literally happen, end all her paranoia atleast!

Yeah, now to my latest dream, its a good'un. I was in a college Library, and my good friend Robert Pattinson (TWILIGHT,VAMPIRE,FIT)

came up to me holding a picture of me when i was young in a keyring, and i had the same but of him (WEIRED!), and we were like talking, and he was so smitten, and everyone in the library was so jealous, and they were all whispering. I enjoyed it, ive forgotten half of it, i usually do with dreams. But yeah i think im gunna spend my whole life in college libraries from now on. If it comes true, my Joseph/Josie theory is scientifically proven.

I'll leave my Obsessiveness there..

LOVE X

I made the executive decision to mitch college today, it was based on many levels, this is what went through my mind whilst laying in bed at 7.30am this morning..

1) I need to spend the day improving my drawing skills

2) If i go into college i need to get out of bed now and wash my hair, if i mitch college, i can get up at like 9 and wash my hair at a more leisurely pace ... guaranteeing that all the conditioner would be washed out.

3) It MAY snow

4)If i have my drama partners number on my phone, then i'll text him so he dosen't have to go to drama and do nothing.

Thankfully, i had his number, so hair got washed and i spent the day drawing. Im a terrible drawer, i started drawing my hand and that failed so i moved onto a shell, then tried a fruitbowl and then i started to stress. So i tried to draw my sister, Grace. Bellow is a picture of my pretty 6 year old sister..

And somehow i have made her look like a 60 year old hobit/vampire girl..

I just sincerely hope that she dosen't think this is an accurate portrayal of her face and has to go through theopheostic at the age of 6 to overcome it.

Ahh! my brothers have made me laugh today Rory is literally playing 'Don't Stop Believing' by the Journey on repeat, whilst singing along with an American accent. Its quite ironic really,- cause he stopped believing along time ago ..if ya get my drift!

And Aedan well, he ran into the kitchen saying he wanted a biscuit, and then proceeded to open up the bin, stick his hand in, feel around a bit then pull out his half eaten biscuit from earlier! I got it before it went in his mouth, thankfully!

i better get back to my knitting its 7pm and i thought it was like 5, im way behind my schedule.

'don't stop believing'

LOVE X

Firstly, In church and Deb starts talking about Blogs and the power of the internet, i don't think its any Coincidence that i felt the need to start one this year, even if its just me and God reading it.. thats fine by me.

Secondly, I've been babysitting for a little boy for a while, and briefly talk to his mum before she goes out, but yesterday the friend she was waiting for was really late - we're talking like an hour! And we were just talking about College and what im going to do with the next stage of my life, and i mentioned fashion, but my love for religious studies came up and she suddenly became interested, she just lit up. By day she is an accountant, but what really interests her is religion and spirituality, and i think she holds a bit of regret that she never followed her dreams, because that night she told me to follow mine.

She has a real openness, and i started talking about church and how i became a christian, and she recalled when she lived in America and attended a very evangelical church, where people are touched by the Holy Spirit. It was just a really enjoyable conversation, which i think me and her have both benefited from.

Talking to her made me think a bit about muslims in particular, they kinda amaze me actually, i remember when i was like 6 or 7 and was in school in London, and the muslim girls would be praying in a little room on there prayer mats at lunch time instead of being outside playing - even then i was gobsmacked my there dedication and maturity. Another time when i was around the same age i was playing tag in the playground and i asked a muslim girl if she wanted to play, and she said "i can't, im not aloud to eat or drink during the day, so i can't get dehydrated" It was a festival, possibly ramadan.? This again blew my mind. I have alot of respect for the religion, and feel that we could learn alot from there self-control and devotion. However i feel that Islam could learn alot from Christianity, i know there is structure and fakeness going on in the church, but there are people standing against this and living real lives with God, and what i don't understand about Islam is that its conformed into a ritual ..everything has a time and a pattern, and with such strict routines, wheres reality? wheres life?

I will probs regret writing any of this so i better publish it before i change my mind. Spelling is beyond bad!

LOVE X

After spending the night with my younger more energetic friend, building midnight snowmen, watching the Olsen Twins run around London in the fantastic 'winning london', and being introduced to 'The Mighty Boosh', i should be completely drained yet surprisingly i am more alive than i was yesterday. She has rubbed off on me, and that can only be a good thing!

Im solidly working at the moment trying to finish my textiles in order to prepare for a few interviews i've got next week, for uni and art foundation. After a sudden freak out that i aint got enough work to fill a portfolio, im gunna go a wag it, and pray that if fashion is meant to be, then God will just open the door, and i'll skip right through. On a more important issue... What do you wear to a fashion interview?

The Pressure Is On!

Yeah, whilst doing my textiles i stumbled across a company called 'To Write Love On Her Arms', in short they work to help people overcome depression by selling t-shirts which they have printed and designed.

Check Out The Video, from there latest conference, if i were you id skip straight to 1min56 - best bit!:)

www.twloha.com/

HEAVY AND LIGHT '09 Backstage from To Write Love on Her Arms. on Vimeo.

The guy that started the whole movement, Jamie Tworkowski, did a guest blog, i found it really interesting, he is talking about musicians and stages and us and stages and im not explaining it very well, so just read it...

http://www.altpress.com/features/blogtwloha.htm

Just to end, i am presently witnessing my dad and 2yr old brother dance around my living room to Beyonces Single Ladies! Very funny indeed.

and Lastly i hear pendulum is going to be played in Church tomorrow, this is a monumental moment, i am very excited!

LOVE X

Firstly, i want to explain why my blogs called 'FEET'...

Feet may not be the most beautiful part of the body but there the most useful, i do so much with my feet - no longer will i take them for granted. I've hated my feet, cussed my feet, and wanted to burn them but now i think there beasts. I can run, i can dance, i can walk, i can wear pretty shoes, and anklets, i can paint my nails and not fall over. I repeat, my feet are beasts!

Secondly, I've started a blog as a new years resolution. I had an amazing year in 09, and don't want to forget anything in 2010. Im on a significant journey, discovering and experiencing things for the first time,and i want to remember all the minor and major details.

Thirdly, I've had a great day today, despite loosing all my work due to immature students combined with technology, i fitted loads into my afternoon, i met up with three people who each individually make me laugh, i opened up a savings account - and now don't understand how to access it! I scared an elderly man, by walking up quickly behind him in the dark, then had a little chat with him about the 'snow' and the trains.

Then..this is my favorite bit i saw in the distance what seamed like a wheelchair in the middle of the road, and when i got closer i saw a man in it, he kinda looked at me as i walked past (i put my hood down in attempt to not be intimidating) and i go..

"you ok there?" he looks at me and points to the corner or the road and mutters something so i go..

"Do you want a push?" and i proceed to push him up the road, and struggle heaving him up the curb, to the pub where we're greeted by him mates bellowing

"you alrite john?". Made my day!

LOVE X